Scott, To Be Certain


Thursday, November 01, 2007

Oops! I Did What I Did

International role models Ben Cousins and Britney Spears have been hot topics in papers and on radio overnight.

And what journalistic gold has surfaced in relation to their latest exploits!

In Ben's case, it appears he has gone AWOL in Malibu, never quite making it to the rehab centre where he was to recommence his treatment for his ongoing bothersome addictions to both ice and to just generally being irresistibly attractive to both sexes.

It's even received coverage on the infamous Perez Hilton blog, likening his decline to that of Britney.

It seems trite at this juncture to invoke Amy's Swinehouse but they truly did try and make him go to rehab, and his response does seem to have been the resounding equivalent of "no, no, no".

"Um, you might like to rephrase that"

Anyway, in the The Age today, a concerned member of Ben's entourage is quoted as saying:

"No one has any idea where he is... He's got everyone freaking out because LA's not a good place to be out doing what he may be doing..."

Now there are several curious observations to be made about this statement.

Firstly, "what he may be doing" is a fascinating and incongruous use of hypothesis given Ben's recent history.

And secondly, I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER PLACE TO BE DOING IT. Ben has simply seized an opportunity in the most exciting adult playground on the planet, as you bloody well would, wouldn't you? Good on him. And they say it never snows in Hollywood!

As for Britney, the latest chapter of My Life: The Ongoing Debacle by Spears, Ms. B. is a riotous tale of self-preservation and sudden hygiene.

Also reported today, Britney was interviewed by Ryan Seacrest on morning radio in the US, defending her parenting and decrying the cruelty of people thusly:

"People say what they want and do what they do and it's sad how cruel our world can be..."

Of course they do Britney. The concurrent Say What You Say™ and Do What You Do™ movements are enjoying an apex in their popularity at present, as we all know.

"People talk and they say what they want at the end of the day, you know, in the tabloids and in the magazines... But you just try to keep on doing what you do..."

With each day it's becoming even more amazingly apparent how insightful and succinct Jessica Mauboy is as a lyricist, isn't it?

This is the best bit of the article reporting the interview:

"The interview ended abruptly when Britney left to take a shower."

I LOVE IT. Now that she has hair again, perhaps she was simply excited about lathering up with a palmful of Head & Shoulders?