Delicatessen

When the CSIRO launched its very popular diet last year, it copped some serious criticism for being totally fucking unreasonable with respect to alcohol intake too obviously reliant on meat, given one of its principal research sponsors just happened to be the Australian Meat Industry.

The flak didn't matter. The diet is now well established as Australia's most widely followed and the Meat Industry is understandably quite pleased with its subliminal PR effort.

In fact, such fans of the clandestine marketing project are the Meat Industry that they have now entered a new sponsorship arrangement, without ANY PUBLICITY AT ALL, to purvey their wares to us en masse.

The medium? Australian Idol!

Clearly I don't need to labour this point.

Let's have a look.


Meat: Mutton, chopped

The self-styled lyricist was finally axed last night, though it was a close shave in every possible way with both Baby-Girlfriends also on the chopping block. A just outcome.



Meat: Pork, various cuts

Courtney oinked his way through approximately 10 more rounds than was his proper entitlement in Australian Idol 2. Now his older brother Chris is hogging the limelight too and, for some reason, has the full support of image-obsessed Shane Warne-lookalike Kyle Sandilands. Damn those skilled meat industry marketeers!


Meat type: Breasts

Dressed very impractically in jeans and a blazer for a song and dance routine with a group of uglies, Marcia Hines began by humming an ode to all her sister-girlfriends ("Mm-hmm...Mm-hmm...") before virtually putting her fine fillets on full display. Earlier, Marcia declared there was no need to disinfect her shoulders after Kyle attempted a faux gyration in that general area. Marcia must only reserve that hygienic measure for contact with nemesis Chanel Cole, peerless musical genius from series 2 who now appears to have joined the Murphy family and eaten all of her feelings.

And finally:


Relationship to meat: Pro-teen

There's far too much to cover by way of sausage varieties so I'm afraid that's as far as I'm able to take the theme for today.

Separately, I thought it was hilarious how Bobby Flynn oh-so-nearly acknowledged his own by now well-documented resemblance to Eric Stoltz in Mask by referring to his mother's comment that he'd been "hiding behind a mask" of eye make-up. For completeness, let's again have a look at that resemblance:



And just for the hell of it, who knew Judith Light was an Appleton twin?




May our next communal meal be pork fillets.

Alrighty then - buh-bye.