Scott, To Be Certain

DISCOURSE, DIGRESSION AND DIATRIBE FOR YOUR DAILY DIGESTION

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sister-Girlfriends Doing It For Their Bad Selves

This is what a pair of gauntlets look like:



This is what a pair of Girlfriends look like:



Now imagine the former pair being thrown down by the latter, resoundingly and convincingly. In a devastating display of divadom and vocal prowess, that's what happened last night on Australian Idol, reducing the competition to a pair of fruntrunners quicker than you can say "Bitch, please."

Sponsored by Cadbury, Kelly Clarkson's vaguely successful album "Breakaway" spawned 17 singles, the last of which was "Walk Away". Tonight that song was absolutely owned by Jessica "Rhinestone" Mauboy and her bad self (with a little help from her bad waistline's bad self).


Kyle: Not ready for Jess' jelly

Meanwhile, Lavinia Nixon-Williams in her performance donned a hood to remind us of her roots, then removed it to remind us of her roots. Multi-layered symbolism! Bless.

Arrange them whichever way you like, Girlfriends sit so comfortably atop the list of performers this week that a cursory glance at the remainder is all that is warranted.

Bottom 3:

11. Reagan Dairy: Three truly fucked-up minutes for mini-Mariah. Buh-bye.
10. Mutto: Nauseating faux theatrics from someone who is potentially 32 years old, based on his claim to be twice the age of Lisa Mitchell. Obviously trying to dress up as lamb.
9. Dean Geyer: Boring piece of pap from neo-Millsy.

Not much better:

8. Chris Murphy: It would have been truly apt if, on Rock Night, Chris had sung a bit of Snout. Oh well.
7. Lisa Mitchell: An improvement on last week. I can't wait until she sings.

Surprisingly good:

6. Klancie-Lee Coulter-Keough, who is, I can't quite believe it, winning me over. Slightly.
5. Ricky Muscat: One of the few people to actually sing a rock song.

Someone who didn't sing anything remotely like a rock song:

4. Bobby Flynn, but whose ethereally smooth tones will carry him forward nonetheless.

And finally, at number 3, introducing the latest member of Ms H's team of cover operatives:


Code name: Brother-Man

Tune in tonight to watch Reagan Dairy find out just how lactose intolerant Australia is.

5 Comments:

  • At 9:52 AM, September 18, 2006, Anonymous Enny said…

    My bottom three were Lisa, Reagan and Dean.

    My top three were Bobby, The Irish Man and Jessica.

    Chris is no Courtney, but I don't mind him.

    Lavinia was pretty good but I don't think she'll get the popular vote.

    And the rest jus kind sit in the middle - not awesome but not terrible.

    (hops off soapbox)

     
  • At 11:49 AM, September 18, 2006, Blogger Krock said…

    I had Lisa, Mutto and Reigan at the bottom.
    In my humble opinion I thought Mutto's camp, over-the-shoulder look to camera at the end of his performance was NQR.
    Lisa's an arrogant little princess and Reigan oversang.
    Chris was hilarious.
    Lavina is terrifying.
    Bobby was totally captivating but Dean should have this thing sewn up, so long as the army of teenage girls he has voting for him can convince mummy and daddy to pay the exorbitant phone bill.
    (I can't stand the god-bothering git)

     
  • At 12:58 PM, September 18, 2006, Blogger la nadine said…

    scott, to be certain: i think i love you.

    x

     
  • At 3:40 PM, September 18, 2006, Anonymous Manxzilla said…

    Rocky deserves a bullet for what he did to Warren Zevon, or at least having his wandering 'expressive' hand chopped off. This week demands the institution of a bottom five pit so that the Boer-ing Lord Lover, Klancie, Mutto, Reigan and Ickle can all be hurled in to it. Ricky continues to surprise and delight: he's a good boy. And every good boy deserves fruit.

     
  • At 8:16 PM, September 20, 2006, Blogger comicstriphero said…

    heh heh heh!

    wash. rinse. repeat x 10.

     

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