Scott, To Be Certain


Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sahlene Solution

This is a picture of Anna Sahlene (pronounced SAY-lean):

Although maniacally obsessed with hoop earrings, this is not, in fact, what Anna is principally known for.

Instead, her pop cultural relevance can be summarised as follows.

1. She represented Estonia at Eurovision 2001, despite being Swedish.
2. She almost represented Sweden at Eurovision 2006, despite having committed treason in 2001.
3. She sounds a lot like Kate De Rouge.
4. She has a single out called "This Woman". "This Woman" is not about this woman:

Or this woman:

And that's about it for the moment.

However, if Anna's people have any commercial nous about them at all, they would realise three important facts.

1. "This Woman" is an excellent song.
2. "This Woman" is possibly the gayest song that ever existed.
3. Anna Sahlene's name is ripe for some word play.

Essentially, it's my contention that she could be sahlene down the river of success based on her puntastic name alone.

"I think you'll find it's 'rollin'' down the river"

Shut up Whitney.

Now. The question is this. What if "This Woman" was about this woman:

Wouldn't that be amazing? It might feature on this album:

But wait! What if "This Woman" was about this woman as well:

Can you imagine the possibilities? CAN YOU?

A fucking gold mine, I tell you.


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