Scott, To Be Certain


Friday, November 18, 2005

AI3: De Past and De Present

As they say in certain remote pockets of English-speaking Canada, "Sorry."

What is all this a boot

Yes, how tedious to once again begin with an apology - and for once that old nemesis of mine, employment, isn't even to blame! (Except that it is.)

But anyway, there are far more important issues to discuss/bang on about.

No, I'm not talking about capital punishment/World Cup soccer/IR reforms. Quite clearly none of those boring inconsequential topics affects the world more profoundly than The Idol Franchise.

And it has come to pass that Australia has fabulously seen fit to promote two women to the grand final of Australian Idol 3. They are, in random order:

Diana DeGarmo
Fantasia Barrino

Oh, sorry! I was thinking about another similarly named ever-so-slightly ample-bodied young blond and another similarly giant-lunged wailing teenage mother Escaping A Life of Trailers who went at it in the third Idol series held in its country and in which the latter soundly and deservedly beat the former, even if the former is most probably an infinitely nicer person.

But that was American Idol 3, my bad.

Oh, look, it's Jennifer Hudson! But "news just in", it's not "Poor Jennifer Hudson" anymore!

Cop this, dudes: Jennifer has beaten Fantasia's illiterate ass to the role of Effie in the film version of Dreamgirls. The two were up against each other for the role but J-Hud scored. Sister-girlfriend could be an Oscar nominee!

"I'm quite visibly unmoved by that news."

Well, not me! Jennifer's ouster at six from that series of Idol is probably the entire franchise's most egregious tragedy. An amazing voice now on the path to greatness.

But back to tiny little Australian Idol and our finalists, Emily and Kate.

This is a no-brainer. Emily must win, for the sake of the franchise.

But fear not for Kate.

Sure, it won't be easy. Principally, she will soon need to publicly grapple with the life-long embarrassing mispronunciation of her own name. But once she acknowledges that as a musician she will sell far more records as Kate De Rouge (or perhaps just "De Rouge"), it's only a matter of time before she becomes the face of Garnier, sends Kirstie Alley off our screens and does a world-beating cover of Chris DeBarge's "Lady in Red".


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