Scott, To Be Certain


Monday, October 03, 2005

AI3: On The Mark

It’s a curse, this addiction to pop culture.

It means committing to a life of priorities which are perhaps objectively “askew”. For instance, until democratic elections involve a soundproof booth and candidate sashes, pop music will always be of more import than politics.

“Dude, we are so on the same page”

It also means agreeing on some level with Mark Holden’s theatrics at the end of Australian Idol last night. The performances of the Top 9 (some rather good, others woeful) were just so lamentably average that I, too, am impatient for greatness.

Let’s consider the equivalent stages of past competitions.

In 2003, the corresponding week of performances gave us Paulini’s “Chains” and Cosima’s “When the War is Over” (the latter the very first touchdown and still the second best vocal performance on the show ever).

In 2004, the corresponding week gave us Casey’s “Special Ones” (her third touchdown) and Anthony’s “The Prayer” (the best Idol performance on record).

This year, all we have are three chicks capable of greatness but still falling short through inept song choice (Anne, Kate, Emily), a dude with promise but no star power (Dan), a one-note rocker with stage presence but truly, truly shithouse hair (Lee), two one-trick ponies (Mini-LeeMilly, Roxane) and, hopefully, the next two eliminees (James, Daniel).

I find myself hoping against hope each time Kate takes the stage that she will bust out a classic performance built around a killer power note. But she keeps choosing songs that allow her voice to coast rather than soar. It’s not that she’s not accurate - hell, she was so accurate this week she even managed to throw in a “whoo!” and an “impromptu” laugh in exactly the same spot that Anastacia does in the original version!

Same goes for Anne – she’s been quite committed to showing us her double-jointed neck range lately but really, with that voice, where are the touchdowns? I actually quite liked the performance (and I’m not even black – can you IMAGINE) but, like Mark, I want MORE. At least she has the support of Marcia. Mm-hmm, she just loooooooooves herself some Anne. Actually, the only way Marcia could love Anne more is if Anne had conceived a child at 16.

Speaking of Emily, I have two things to say:

1. she’s really very good (but not anywhere near Cosima or Paulini)
2. she features in this brilliant photo that is just SCREAMING for a caption (submit your entries here)

In support of Mark Holden, there are no rankings this week.

But it’s quite clear that this competition is really only about Anne, Kate and Emily. Thank goodness for these three chicks. Future stoushes between the “diva trio” will hopefully provide the show with the drawcard that, at this point, it sorely lacks.


  • At 8:46 PM, October 03, 2005, Blogger Dawei said…

    Disagree on the Anne thing. Girl is BORING and has a major case of bitchface. What's with the hats? Girl acts like she's full of attitude, and then gets all God-kissy with the skyward pointing and imploring eyes? Gag me. HATE.

  • At 9:52 PM, October 03, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You could raffle most of these clowns.
    Lee's pitiful attempts at being 'punk' make me want to pierce my eardrums with the pointy end of a compass.

    Daniel should have been axed tonight.

    Emily is the only one who deserves to be there at this point.

  • At 1:13 AM, October 04, 2005, Blogger The Student said…

    I quite like Dan's voice, and agree that Emily is somehow nailing it every week. It seems that she is about the only one who just delivers a solid performance and a well chosen song every week.

    I'll tell you who is shit, Milly. Bitch looks like a budgie, her eyes are on oposing sides of her head and she is utter shite. From the disasterous playing to win till now, she has just been so crap and shit. Roxane was stiff to lose to that shitbag tonite.

    I agree with Dawei and his angry gaping ass 100%, Anne drives me nuts. She has that same happy girl shit that bella off My Restaurant Rules had, but who is actually a real slag in private.

  • At 10:48 AM, October 04, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ever since the astute comment that Roxy looks like Rose Porteus I have been able to tolerate that gimpy little chipmunk voice of hers no more. Yes she hits the notes, yes she smiles so that her cheeks hurt, but it was only a matter of time before she would have cracked out one of Alvin and the Chipmunks' numbers or one of the more inane songs from 'The Little Mermaid'. I think it was time someone brought home to her that that shit just isn't cute once you're past the age of 5.

    Go Kate.

    Emily fell in my estimatations when she sang HERO for F*ck Sake. HERO!!!!

    Anne, please unless you're actually passing a kidney stone on stage, you gotta stop with that face. Really.

  • At 11:20 AM, October 04, 2005, Blogger The Student said…

    Do you reckon Roxane shags?

  • At 11:26 AM, October 04, 2005, Blogger Scott said…

    Student: is that Jo O'Meara of S Club 7, in that photo?

    As for Roxane, I would say Roxane has considerable experience in that particular endeavour (hopefully not with Chris Luder).

  • At 11:54 PM, October 05, 2005, Blogger The Student said…

    Ha Ha!

    It's....I dunno, that sonofabitch from Saved By The Bell.

    Excellent call.


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