The Return of Jenny Eyelash

For those of you not familiar with S2BC's uniquely obsessive anagram fetish, Jenny Eyelash is another way of referring to Canberra's finest bogan:


"Can you imagine if I wasn't wearing this cream undershirt!"

What we know about Hayley Jensen:

1. She got married in a supermarket or something. When she was 14.
2. She is really quite decent at pretending to be Sarah MacLachlan. (If Sarah McLachlan were a boring, bogan Canberran.)
3. Mark Holden hated her and refused to put her through her initial audition. He changed his mind when she tried out again. ("Oops!" - Australia)
4. She is a self-professed lover of Australian bands such as Missy Higgins.
5. She hung around the Idol finals about 7 weeks too long.
6. She can't be entirely repulsive because she loves Chanel Cole.
7. She's probably quite lovely but that has strictly no relevance to anything.
8. She is to release an album!

According to a press release on Hayley's hilarious website, "the album features original material written and co-written by Hayley and is expected to showcase her stunning vocals".

It's expected to, but it may not. As well they should, Hayley's publicists are hedging their bets.

The press release also implores us all to "check out" a riveting interview with Hayley in which she canvasses all manner of important topics, such as "her spare time". (No doubt there is a lot of it, etc.)

The first single is to be called "Lately". (Written during and about Hayley's spare time.)

It all sounds too ghastly for words. But it has to be better than the recent solo output of that woeful, bald microphone-swallower who also outstayed his welcome on last year's Idol.

Oh, speaking of Idol, we neglected to farewell Milly Edwards. See ya, darl'. Not entirely undeserved, but the systematic decimation of the female contingent is a tad worrying.

Also, someone needs to tell Kyle that it's not actually a compliment this year to say to any male competitor "you've got one of finest male voices in the competition".

OK then. Buh-bye.