Scott, To Be Certain


Friday, October 07, 2005

Good Enough To Eat (With A Spoon)

Fridays in a place of employment/soul destruction invariably lead to moments of distraction/procrastination/myriad breaches of both express and implied employee duties.

Rather than head off to the loo for a spot of mid-morning self-abuse, I thought I'd engage in some hardcore rumination about one of S2BC's favourite topics: the Oscars.

This is a particularly exciting topic this year because it is looking increasingly likely that one half of the most spectacularly good-looking couple on the planet, Reese Witherspoon, will be in line for her first nomination.

S2BC anoints Reese as a guaranteed nominee based on this promotional still alone, from her upcoming film "Walk the Line":

Methinks Reese should be henceforth and evermore a brunette, based on that shot. It might also be the definitive pose to convey sentiments roughly equivalent to "Can I possibly indicate any more fervently how fucking sensual I am and wouldn't you just love to mount me, oh my what a phallic microphone and check out my kick-arse cheekbones as well (thanks)."

Various publications (such as this one) reviewing Reese's work as June Cash (wife of Johnny) suggest things like "Witherspoon simply could not be better in her most serious, fully elaborated performance to date".

So it sounds like this could be the best of all Reese's pieces. This is a tough call given the existence of a film named "Election", where Reese gave one of the bitchiest-and-finest-yet-cruelly-overlooked-by-Oscar-(though-what-else-do-you-expect) turns in history.

And it's directed by the vigorously under-performed James Mangold, who gave us such classics as "Kate & Leopold". Still, he helped Angelina Jolie to an Oscar (and restored titular relevance to commas) in "Girl, Interrupted"*. So we live in hope.

*It's side-splittingly amusing to consider that in Germany that film went with the punchy title "Durchgeknallt". Which translates, I'm told, to something like "Slammed Through" or "Through-Slammer". Apparently. Or perhaps it's "In the Slammer".

"How rude"


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