Peter Andre: Crossing Jordan?

It seems poor Peter Andre is currently deathly ill in a London hospital bed with viral meningitis.

This doesn't sound very pleasant and is nowhere near as hilarious as hepatitis.



Re-enactment (Source: Jennifer Keyte Tribute Calendar)

However, Pete is lucky enough through this ordeal to be supported by a caring wife, Katie Price (aka Jordan). Price loves her husband dearly and is gutted to not be by his side 24/7, due to being a working mother. Awww.

This filthy rich celebrity D-cup certainly knows how to work it. In the last 12 months she has apparently:

*released a hugely successful autobiography (her 2nd!)
*unsuccessfully vied to be the UK's next Eurovision representative
*released a best-selling fitness DVD
*published her debut novel, entitled 'Angel'
*launched a signature lingerie and jewellery range
*begun writing a regular advice column in OK! and The Sun
*recorded and released a bizarrely successful duets album with Pete
*appeared in a much derided and consequently beloved YouTube live performance of one of her duets with Pete
*was named "Mum of the Year" (!)

In the coming months she will apparently:

*have her own talk show, "The Jordan and Peter Show", on iTV
*release her first children's book (!)
*launch her own signature scent

This last prospect is a tad disturbing, particularly in the context of the following quote:

"I'm checking on him all day, calling the hospital and then every night I take him a towel in so he can smell home."

Eau de towelette, anyone? Nothing like a piece of fabric freshly swiped through the snatch of Britain's sluttiest bogan to brighten one's spirits.