Scott, To Be Certain


Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Peter Andre: Crossing Jordan?

It seems poor Peter Andre is currently deathly ill in a London hospital bed with viral meningitis.

This doesn't sound very pleasant and is nowhere near as hilarious as hepatitis.

Re-enactment (Source: Jennifer Keyte Tribute Calendar)

However, Pete is lucky enough through this ordeal to be supported by a caring wife, Katie Price (aka Jordan). Price loves her husband dearly and is gutted to not be by his side 24/7, due to being a working mother. Awww.

This filthy rich celebrity D-cup certainly knows how to work it. In the last 12 months she has apparently:

*released a hugely successful autobiography (her 2nd!)
*unsuccessfully vied to be the UK's next Eurovision representative
*released a best-selling fitness DVD
*published her debut novel, entitled 'Angel'
*launched a signature lingerie and jewellery range
*begun writing a regular advice column in OK! and The Sun
*recorded and released a bizarrely successful duets album with Pete
*appeared in a much derided and consequently beloved YouTube live performance of one of her duets with Pete
*was named "Mum of the Year" (!)

In the coming months she will apparently:

*have her own talk show, "The Jordan and Peter Show", on iTV
*release her first children's book (!)
*launch her own signature scent

This last prospect is a tad disturbing, particularly in the context of the following quote:

"I'm checking on him all day, calling the hospital and then every night I take him a towel in so he can smell home."

Eau de towelette, anyone? Nothing like a piece of fabric freshly swiped through the snatch of Britain's sluttiest bogan to brighten one's spirits.

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  • At 5:04 PM, May 02, 2007, Anonymous FranklinBluth said…

    bizarrely, most disturbing thing in that last photo... Pete's hat. When the hell did he become a country singer?

  • At 6:12 PM, May 02, 2007, Blogger Anna said…

    On top of the 3 things she's about to do, somewhere she'll give birth to a 3rd baby and fit back into her size 0 jeans!!

  • At 2:20 AM, May 05, 2007, Blogger Adem IAR said…

    More importantly, when are we going to get another album of classy duets??


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