Scott, To Be Certain


Sunday, October 08, 2006

Head Cases

"Your head just opened up; notes came out. What more can I say."
- Marcia Hines, a.k.a. The Best Thing To Come Out Of This Country Descriptively

As if to honour the disco decade, Marcia's acid trips from the 70s caught up with her tonight in brilliant fashion, prompting sister-girlfriend to hallucinate dramatically over Lavina's performance and also inadvertently paraphrase the entire night.

But while the opening of heads was, sadly, only figurative, in many loungerooms the bleeding of eardrums and corneas was real.

The principal perpetrators:

The worst 2 by a disco mile, alleged singer-songwriters Damien and Lisa are at least guaranteed of cross-promotion on Channel 10's other excruciating output The Wedge after their hilarious comedy performances.

The comic theme was further exemplified by Lisa's decision to dress up like famous French mime Marcel Marceau. Cruelly, Baby-girlfriend reneged on a complete homage by opening her head. Oh well.

The rest:

6. Ricky Muskrat

It's only fitting after Lavina's Jordan tribute jugs graced the stage that Ricky would follow with a song famously covered by Peter Andre. Not god-awful, but the time is drawing near.

5. Chris Murphy

Porky went the whole hog with the farming theme, donning a leather jacket for his performance of "Play That Funky Music". Although undeniably white, Chris' only other claim to the adjective "funky" is when he lifts his arms. Still, those dodgy spoken bits aside, this was far too good for my liking.

4.Lavina Williams

With a clear 3rd finger to Kyle, Lavina's tatts were on full display again this week. They weren't the only things. Unfortunately, there wasn't much room left for the voice - it was all a bit of a screechfest and there was no money note.

3.Dean Geyer

I promised myself I would be a Dean convert if he opened singing, "TURN IT UP TURN IT UP TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN!" Gloria Estefan-style with a set of maracas. He chose the song's original intro but elected to finish by literally turning upside down instead. Nice work. Nice, too, to see Courtney Act leading the Dean Gayer cheersquad.

2. Jessica Mauboy

"On The Radio" is a prescient song title for this future recording artist. Looking more and more like the winner, Jess amusingly described Kyle's super-positive feedback after her performance as "haunting". Perhaps she meant "predatory".

1.Bobby Flynn

Another dubiously delivered touchdown by Mark but an excellent, unique, interesting performance. This article goes a bit overboard but Bobby does very clearly bring a freshness to the show by being an actual musician. It's hilarious to note how Marcia and John Foreman appear to have slyly withheld from the other contestants - Lisa in particular - that an acoustic (and actually listenable) re-imagining of a disco classic could have been possible with a different arrangement, which is exactly what Bobby brilliantly did.

Instead, it looks like Lisa's guitarless heart of glass will be next to shatter. Tune in tonight to find out.


  • At 11:28 AM, October 09, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    STBC, i was hoping for a brilliant witticism about Marcia's statement re Lisa (or was it Damien..) 'Mark, its not her/his 'GENDRA'. Gen-DRA! HA!

    Oh well.

  • At 11:59 AM, October 09, 2006, Blogger Scott said…

    I wondered if I'd heard correctly! I guess she did actually say that... brilliant. Marcia really is one of the best performers on this show, isn't she?

  • At 2:46 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger littlefaeriegirl said…

    it was both! and she even said it on the live show, not just he pre recorded bits. i actually yelled at the tv at that point.

    that woman is crazy insane

  • At 3:14 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger Fi said…

    The more Lisa ("I'm only 16" aka "the dog ate my homework") Mitchell says she can't wait for next week's singer-songwriter theme, the more I can't wait for her skinny 16 year old arse to be booted off this week! By the way, did anyone else notice how awful her legs are when they did the close up on her shoes last week?

    Loved Bobby - please give that guy some maracas, for God's sake!

    Loved Jess - what was with her hair though?

    As for Chris and Lavina - they each give the same performance every week which gives me the same violent "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you" reaction every week!

    I agree with S2BC, I begrudgingly really enjoyed Dean's performance last night ... he must have amazing abs to do those backflips...

  • At 4:45 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger littlefaeriegirl said…

    i always enjoy dean. he is tasty tasty and i want to be the one who teaches him the sex

  • At 5:05 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger said…

    Lavina should have done "Knock On Wood".

    That just screams touchdown.

  • At 7:43 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger comicstriphero said…

    Did anyone else think Ricky's fly was down?

    At least tell me you noticed his manly underarm sweat marks...

  • At 7:49 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger The Student said…

    Bang on about them not encouraging Lisa to just strip back a disco hit.

    Meantime, everytime I watch Booby, I think about how much i would actually enjoy listening to an album of his original stuff.

    Pretty happy to see the Irishman finally reach a point where he couldn't just amble through a track, hit the falsetto note, then bow for applause. Sick of him. Seeya.

  • At 11:24 PM, October 09, 2006, Blogger said…

    Poor Queen Lavinah.


  • At 12:08 AM, October 10, 2006, Blogger littlefaeriegirl said…

    i noticed the fly thing too.

    my boss's fly was down this morning as well

    i teehee'd

  • At 6:57 PM, October 10, 2006, Blogger Snoskred said…

    You can tell that I am drinking spring water and ya'all are on the stuff out the tap which Bobby Flynn has put something into that is somehow making you go on a trip where his music is the next best thing on the planet, right?

    Did any of you watch Rockstar - the first or second year? Maybe you're missing out on the real music.. :(

  • At 7:16 PM, October 10, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    exactly where was "knock on wood" or "upside down" - this group really are choosing some dud songs

  • At 10:09 AM, October 11, 2006, Blogger Zoe said…

    Snoskred - bottled water lacks flouride and you will spend more time and money at the dentist than those who love Bobby and do not spurn the tap.

    I find it hard to cop your sledging of Bobby Flynn as "not real music" when you blog about how much you like A-ha.


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