Scott, To Be Certain


Sunday, June 24, 2007

Are Your Killeens Showing?

Gretel's certainly were tonight, when we bore witness to Ms Killeen's most biting interview couch commentary of the season.

Gretel spoke for a nation when she implored Andrew and Hayley to cease their puke-inducing amorousness after being reunited onstage. It really has been some time since Saxon, hasn't it, love?

As for the eviction, it was pleasing to see alpha-male Andrew get his come-uppance. However, if this is to be believed, he was going anyway. No matter: I am happy I don't have to view his strut ever again. Andrew always pranced around the house in a curious and intensely annoying fashion, shoulders back and arms half a metre out to the side, as if to cater for his monstrous musculature. Poor sod: clearly he suffers from the horrendous disease known as imaginary lat syndrome.

Thomas, who actually possesses lat muscles, was also turfed tonight. He will now doubtlessly be engaged in a close fight with Hayley to be the face of Proactiv in Australia.

His departure is no big loss. Mainly because the show itself is already lost. I was struck this evening by how monumentally uninteresting the remaining contestants are. Oh how I yearn for the following housemates.

Instead, we are left with:

1. Billy. A nice enough bloke with nostrils soon to be annexed by the WA mining boom, but otherwise completely vanilla. Adds nothing whatsoever to the house dynamic.

2. Aleisha. The poor man's Christie (BB05), she has cleverly leveraged off Billy for longevity, realising it worked last year for Jamie. By creating a romantic alliance she ensures plenty of fodder for the BB clip editors should she make the final 2, which is looking possible given she is the only viable remaining female. Acknowledging this fact is gradually causing me to lose the will to live.

3. Daniela. The 2nd Brazilian on the show after the completely mesmerising Andy from BB01, who left the show far too early (cue "Gone Too Soon" funeral violin solo), she sadly doesn't share her countrywoman's penchant for leather (that we know of). She did wolf down a fish eye though, but this is hardly akin to Charla downing her body weight in Austrian sausage (and then wilfully regurgitating it with the aid of a butter knife) on The Amazing Race.

4. Zoran. Exceptionally good looking, until he opens his mouth. Amuse yourselves by counting how many times he says "Know what I mean?" in any given 30 second period. Zzzz.

5. Travis. The most calculated strategist in the history of the game. A combination of Ben, Reggie and Jamie, 3 former winners, and deliberately so. Yawn.

6. Joel. Mini-Aqmal is probably a lovely person, but what the hell is that Cosima impersonation when he speaks? Allegedly he has a clashic sensh of humour, which like that other allegedly hilarious contestant Trevor (BB04), is likely to lead him to victory this year. Kill me now.

7. Jamie. That this person claims to have a high IQ is an insult to my fellow MENSA members. When he interacts with Gretel on the live shows, it is like watching a hideous car accident.

8. Michelle. This woman has borne children?

The only interesting remaining contestant is:

9. Zach. That he only graced our screens 8 weeks into the series is a shame, because we were deprived of potentially memorable scragfests between he and Emma. He may also have ensured that conflict-generator Kate was not sent packing so early. Sadly, he has carved a lonely niche in the house, with nary a kindred spirit in sight. Nonetheless, he is a delightful slice of colourful humanity in a decidedly beige world. A slim picking indeed!


  • At 9:36 AM, June 25, 2007, Anonymous FranklinBluth said…

    Oh, man. Chrissie from BB03 was the best! The night she had it out with that horrid Ben was priceless. Man, all the people that go on big-brother nowadays are just vapid fame-whores.

    That clip from the amazing race was disgusting.

  • At 12:44 PM, June 25, 2007, Blogger Scott said…

    Chrissie was a breakfast radio personality on the Sunshine Coast for a couple of years, before returning to Melbourne recently. Did you hear her with Tim Blackwell on Nova last week? She was filling in for Hughesy & Kate. She has excellent timing and an infectious, raspy laugh. One of the best BB contestants ever.

    As for the The Amazing Race clip: I can't tell you how many times I've watched it. There's something irresistible about watching a dwarf vomit.

  • At 1:33 PM, June 25, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    There was actually another brazilian guy (well i think he was half brazlilian) last year or the year before. I can't remember his name though.

  • At 4:26 PM, June 25, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    John, one half of the turkey slapping team, he is half brazilian. I think that's who i mean anyway.

  • At 5:01 PM, June 25, 2007, Anonymous FranklinBluth said…

    I just watched the amazing race clip with sound...

    "lord, help us to be able to get this sausage down"

    this is, perhaps, the BEST line from the amazing race, ever... from all contestents... from every series...

  • At 12:15 PM, June 26, 2007, Blogger Shaun said…

    BB this year has turned into an utter snoozefest. When are channel 10 going to realise that interesting contestants are the key to BB NOT stupid gimmicks like the dire Friday night games and the inclusion of ever more intruders?

    They have to get rid of the power of the Friday night games winner to change evictions - rewarding someone for their physical prowess in a stupid It's a Knockout type game does not make sense. The nominations on Monday night are PAINFUL to watch with Channel 10 desperate to make them edgy by introducing ridiculous rules about why they can and can't nominate people.

    How about instead of all this cack they just choose a diverse range of people not just 12 white twenty somethings? Yawn.

  • At 8:09 AM, June 27, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christie is quite possibly the WORST BB contestant to date. She is WHOREndous. Absolutely my worst reality tv person, right up there with Munnalita. The conversations she had about pleasuring herself with a toothbrush were alarming, the girl is about as sexy as a cabbage, no one in their right mind would want to think of HER that way! Bring back Vesna!!

  • At 10:18 AM, June 27, 2007, Blogger Adem IAR said…

    Chrissie currently hosts a show on Monday Nights on Nova that has something to do with Big Brother. She has a STELLAR voice for radio.

    Completely off this season, I'm now only watching eviction Sundays, purely to see what Gret's is wearing and to have something to discuss with Vesna during our Snatchcasts. It's all about UK BB for me now...

  • At 5:49 PM, June 27, 2007, Blogger Kamikaze Camel said…

    I haven't watch BB this year so I don't know any of these people, but VESNA!!!!!! I love her so much! She should be the Prime Minister, seriously.

    I loved Chrissie too. I also really liked the lesbian from season 2, but her name escapes me.

  • At 9:15 PM, June 27, 2007, Blogger Scott said…

    KC, I think you mean Sahra, that annoyingly spelled fence-sitting alleged bisexual. I remember that she thought she was so popular because she'd managed to get herself into the final 3. Clearly this wouldn't have happened in the days of the "2SAVE" vote.

  • At 2:42 PM, June 28, 2007, Anonymous Manxzilla said…

    Fans of Chrissie may also wish to note that she's posted a message of support for the host of, who has been accused by some humourless bloggers of having 'issues' with our Jewish friends.


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