Are Your Killeens Showing?

Gretel's certainly were tonight, when we bore witness to Ms Killeen's most biting interview couch commentary of the season.



Gretel spoke for a nation when she implored Andrew and Hayley to cease their puke-inducing amorousness after being reunited onstage. It really has been some time since Saxon, hasn't it, love?

As for the eviction, it was pleasing to see alpha-male Andrew get his come-uppance. However, if this is to be believed, he was going anyway. No matter: I am happy I don't have to view his strut ever again. Andrew always pranced around the house in a curious and intensely annoying fashion, shoulders back and arms half a metre out to the side, as if to cater for his monstrous musculature. Poor sod: clearly he suffers from the horrendous disease known as imaginary lat syndrome.

Thomas, who actually possesses lat muscles, was also turfed tonight. He will now doubtlessly be engaged in a close fight with Hayley to be the face of Proactiv in Australia.

His departure is no big loss. Mainly because the show itself is already lost. I was struck this evening by how monumentally uninteresting the remaining contestants are. Oh how I yearn for the following housemates.





Instead, we are left with:

1. Billy. A nice enough bloke with nostrils soon to be annexed by the WA mining boom, but otherwise completely vanilla. Adds nothing whatsoever to the house dynamic.

2. Aleisha. The poor man's Christie (BB05), she has cleverly leveraged off Billy for longevity, realising it worked last year for Jamie. By creating a romantic alliance she ensures plenty of fodder for the BB clip editors should she make the final 2, which is looking possible given she is the only viable remaining female. Acknowledging this fact is gradually causing me to lose the will to live.

3. Daniela. The 2nd Brazilian on the show after the completely mesmerising Andy from BB01, who left the show far too early (cue "Gone Too Soon" funeral violin solo), she sadly doesn't share her countrywoman's penchant for leather (that we know of). She did wolf down a fish eye though, but this is hardly akin to Charla downing her body weight in Austrian sausage (and then wilfully regurgitating it with the aid of a butter knife) on The Amazing Race.




4. Zoran. Exceptionally good looking, until he opens his mouth. Amuse yourselves by counting how many times he says "Know what I mean?" in any given 30 second period. Zzzz.

5. Travis. The most calculated strategist in the history of the game. A combination of Ben, Reggie and Jamie, 3 former winners, and deliberately so. Yawn.

6. Joel. Mini-Aqmal is probably a lovely person, but what the hell is that Cosima impersonation when he speaks? Allegedly he has a clashic sensh of humour, which like that other allegedly hilarious contestant Trevor (BB04), is likely to lead him to victory this year. Kill me now.

7. Jamie. That this person claims to have a high IQ is an insult to my fellow MENSA members. When he interacts with Gretel on the live shows, it is like watching a hideous car accident.

8. Michelle. This woman has borne children?

The only interesting remaining contestant is:



9. Zach. That he only graced our screens 8 weeks into the series is a shame, because we were deprived of potentially memorable scragfests between he and Emma. He may also have ensured that conflict-generator Kate was not sent packing so early. Sadly, he has carved a lonely niche in the house, with nary a kindred spirit in sight. Nonetheless, he is a delightful slice of colourful humanity in a decidedly beige world. A slim picking indeed!