Slim Pickings

In 2003, Guy Sebastian beat Shannon Noll.
In 2004, Casey Donovan beat Anthony Callea.
In 2005, Kate Farnham-DeRouge beat Emily Williams.



Things aren't looking good for Damien, who seems destined to become the fourth consecutive skinny man to lose the Australian Idol final.

To add to his statistical woes, no man has ever beaten a woman in the final. Presumably the case would be different if Peter Brock had been allowed to compete.

This year's final pits the 30yo dentally challenged Dubliner against Jessica "Rhinestone" Mauboy, a 17yo conversationally challenged Darwinian. Statistics aside, it's really anyone's game.

Mainly because neither candidate is terribly inspiring.

Part of me wants Jess to win so we can all have a rest from Damien's overwrought falsetto.

Part of me wants Damien to win so we can all laugh as Amanda Vanstone charges the stage to deport him.

But then I think back to that pathetic, dreadful, horrendous self-penned "I'm happy with who I am" lyric from that piece of shit he unleashed during the Up Close & Personal show and realise that for all our sakes he should be discouraged at all costs from making music for a living.

So I'm trying to kickstart my Jessmania in preparation for tomorrow's show. But I just can't summon it.

There's just nothing to get excited about. Of the 49 Idol finalists over the last 4 years, Damien and Jess rank somewhere in the low teens.

And that's just the internal competition.

It's depressing to think savvy countries like Canada are choosing gorgeous, sexy, brilliant singers as their Idol winners:



Oh well, eh.