Scott, To Be Certain

DISCOURSE, DIGRESSION AND DIATRIBE FOR YOUR DAILY DIGESTION

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Slim Pickings

In 2003, Guy Sebastian beat Shannon Noll.
In 2004, Casey Donovan beat Anthony Callea.
In 2005, Kate Farnham-DeRouge beat Emily Williams.



Things aren't looking good for Damien, who seems destined to become the fourth consecutive skinny man to lose the Australian Idol final.

To add to his statistical woes, no man has ever beaten a woman in the final. Presumably the case would be different if Peter Brock had been allowed to compete.

This year's final pits the 30yo dentally challenged Dubliner against Jessica "Rhinestone" Mauboy, a 17yo conversationally challenged Darwinian. Statistics aside, it's really anyone's game.

Mainly because neither candidate is terribly inspiring.

Part of me wants Jess to win so we can all have a rest from Damien's overwrought falsetto.

Part of me wants Damien to win so we can all laugh as Amanda Vanstone charges the stage to deport him.

But then I think back to that pathetic, dreadful, horrendous self-penned "I'm happy with who I am" lyric from that piece of shit he unleashed during the Up Close & Personal show and realise that for all our sakes he should be discouraged at all costs from making music for a living.

So I'm trying to kickstart my Jessmania in preparation for tomorrow's show. But I just can't summon it.

There's just nothing to get excited about. Of the 49 Idol finalists over the last 4 years, Damien and Jess rank somewhere in the low teens.

And that's just the internal competition.

It's depressing to think savvy countries like Canada are choosing gorgeous, sexy, brilliant singers as their Idol winners:



Oh well, eh.

9 Comments:

  • At 9:32 AM, November 26, 2006, Anonymous sylvop said…

    You know, after Bobby was kicked off the show, I haven't been able to watch it, because I knew the final two would just be disappointing in comparison.

     
  • At 10:30 AM, November 26, 2006, Blogger Scott said…

    I wish I had your resolve, Sylvop! It's a pathetic curse, this Idol addiction of mine.

     
  • At 1:50 PM, November 26, 2006, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    I'm with sylvop.

    Bobby made the show.

    And I was backing Dean because he was my Idol Sweep winner. Feck it!

     
  • At 2:43 PM, November 26, 2006, Blogger weasel said…

    A fair analysis. I can't bring myself to give much of a shit either.

    The Jessica juggernaught looks quite strong, but then the presumed favourite status could work against her. Also, Damien has been continually underestimated.

    I tend to want Jess to lose, because I think her career prospects are pretty dim... unless she retreats to country. Australian Carrie Underwood anyone?

     
  • At 2:43 PM, November 26, 2006, Blogger weasel said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 5:36 PM, November 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Why do you only put one sentence in each paragraph? It's like the Herald Sun.

     
  • At 6:05 PM, November 27, 2006, Blogger Scott said…

    I don't think I can be accused of systematically writing in this fashion. In any event, I think it is stylistically defensible.

    Being compared to the Herald Sun is somehow both exhilarating and deeply distressing...

     
  • At 8:40 PM, November 27, 2006, Anonymous sylvop said…

    Well, i watched it last night, hoping to see Bobby sing one last time, and he only sang a few lines. Apparantly we have to wait a year until his signed (contracts and stuff), so I guess that means we'll all be listening to a soprano "Time of My Life" for the next three months.

     
  • At 3:48 PM, November 28, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have just heard that American Idol will be sceened in Australia this summer [finally, a viable alternative to that cricket thing] Have you heard if this is true?

    Also - have you been watching So You Think You Can Dance? I would think that your discussions on that topic would be even more entertaining than watching Kevin Federlines decline into oblivion.

     

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