Scott, To Be Certain


Monday, September 05, 2005

NOT beautiful, to be blunt

The vaguely attractive but otherwise musically facile and insipid ex-military mega-poonce James Blunt has reportedly released a single entitled “You're Beautiful”.

This song is so many entire galaxies from even remotely resembling or pertaining to anything beautiful whatsoever that my brain can scarcely fathom how fucking huge that distance is.

If you haven't heard it, this is the message that the song more or less conveys:

That the misled/undiscerning general public has so swiftly, disappointingly and en masse embraced a song this horrendous and puerile – and sounding repulsively like faux Rod Stewart - demonstrates that a musical Armageddon may be upon us.

As if the whole Laura Gissara debacle wasn’t enough of a clue! Not to mention the mere existence of Irene Bosmans.

The end is nigh, my friends.


  • At 4:49 PM, September 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Scott, we've been waiting on the brink all day. Is this all you have to say?

    Where is razor sharp and satirical post mortem of Love Boat Lauren, a pile of boys who couldn't sing and were great candidates for Extreme Makeover etc.

    We've come to expect so much more!

  • At 4:57 PM, September 05, 2005, Blogger Scott said…

    Lauren was actually quite good! She just has eyes that look dead and is rather more confident than any dead-eyed dwarf deserves to be.

    I'll see what I can "whip up".

  • At 5:11 PM, September 05, 2005, Anonymous Betty Jay said…


    thank you. I hate to put the pressure on but we love reading your comments on Monday.

    The dead-eyed dwarf could sing but she's going nowhere with song and frock choice.

    Emily has a fabulous voice but is also hampered by clothing, hair and song choice.

    Boys were all insipid on the vocal front. Great talent pool for Extreme Makeover however.

    thanks again for your site. It rounds out the entire Idol experience.

  • At 12:53 PM, September 06, 2005, Anonymous Joe said…

    Is anyone other than me creeped out by the fact that this song appears to be about a would-be-stalker realising his mission can only be fruitless?


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