Scott, To Be Certain

DISCOURSE, DIGRESSION AND DIATRIBE FOR YOUR DAILY DIGESTION

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A Most Unsatisfactory Conclusion



Male: TICK!
Anglo-Saxon: TICK!
Boring: TICK!
Bogan accent: TICK!
Fairly stupid and therefore inoffensive to the voting public: TICK!

Uninteresting, sycophantic, tiny-dicked Bogan Greg has won Big Brother 2005 largely by meeting these five criteria.

In doing so, the voting public has backed up its misguided ejection of the splendidly psychotic Vesna with the ridiculous crowning of two under-the-radar tributes to mediocrity. (Yes! Hideous Bogan David gets money too.)

HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?

Because this is Australia, of course! Where boring people just adore rewarding other boring people.

Honestly, this nation's feverish love for all things conservative and unchallenging has me foaming with rage out of every available orifice. As far as injustices go, this is on a par with Apple's Mom beating Our Cate to the 1999 Best Actress Oscar.


Gwyneth rues her inability to fill out a pink dress like Vesna

Oh well. At least Greg can now afford some surgery on that sinusitis. Perhaps he might even consider investing in an upper lip.

4 Comments:

  • At 3:02 PM, August 16, 2005, Anonymous Joe said…

    I look forward to when the boys discover that the bank of big brother, who appear to have issued the novelty oversize cheque, doesn't actually exist...

     
  • At 3:20 PM, August 16, 2005, Anonymous Naomi said…

    To quote Vesna herself (in an interview on the BB site post eviction) "... everyone I've spoken to today is saying they can't believe I'm out and they thought I was going to win. Everyone's devastated. It's like "oh my god" what's going on." I agree Ves, it is a travesty you didn't win and the lacklustre Logans did!

     
  • At 4:17 PM, August 16, 2005, Anonymous Manny said…

    I'm so bummed that I couldn't see any of the Aus BB. This chick sounded hilarious (evidently Sharon!). I had high hopes on the current UK BB but the public did the same over here and voted for the good looking straight white male... at least Nadia won last year!

     
  • At 4:32 PM, August 16, 2005, Blogger Woodsman said…

    Mantastic - there was a whisper circulating round here that you indeed taught the girl from BBUK all about wine-bottle aerobics - can you plase confirm or deny this.

    I am so indifferent about the Logans winning that it makes complete sense that they won.

    Can someone please explain why Hotdogs is the nude centrefold in Cleo this month and not Dean??? Is it perhaps that all of Dean could not fit on an A3 size liftout?

     

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