Scott, To Be Certain


Monday, August 01, 2005

Watts goin' on, eh?

If you're wondering what Naomi Watts has been doing in between fucking Mark Ruffalo on the sly in We Don't Live Here Anymore and lubing up considerably for the rather more challenging King Kong (to hit cinemas later this year), you might be surprised to learn that the mutant-nippled performer has been trying her hand at reality TV.

Yes, Naomi has bulleted into the Top 8 of Canadian Idol 3!


GO NAOMI! I will endeavour to delicately manage your individually and collectively baited breaths with regular updates as she progresses through the competition.

But if this is all a little too "low-brow" or "not exactly true" for you, then why not meander on down to the local theatre for a bit of brunette, supporting Naomi in The Assassination of Richard Nixon. (She's got a gig opposite Sean Penn again, but it's OK, those staggeringly protrusive milk dispensers are safely strapped in this time.)

Alternatively, it's always fun to just stretch out on the couch and pretend to be Naomi in latter-half Mulholland Drive mode, don't you think?


  • At 3:52 PM, August 01, 2005, Anonymous Naomi said…

    In an entry about Canadian Idol you have managed to:
    1) suggest that Ms Watts is into beastiality;
    2) defame her for deformed nipples; and
    3) allude to my favourite Naomi performance. Her academy award winning feverish masturbation scene in Mull Drive.
    Well done Scotty!

  • At 3:56 PM, August 01, 2005, Blogger Scott said…

    Sadly, no Oscar was awarded to Naomi for that dexterous auto-stimulation, or for any other part of her performance for that matter. It remains one of Oscar's biggest injustices!

  • At 4:37 PM, August 01, 2005, Blogger Woodsman said…

    For some reason I got side tracked half-way through reading this into thinking the Naomi you were referring to was not Naomi Watts but that motherfucking C-bitch Naomi Robson.

    Having not seen Mull Drive I somewhat baffled at why I was unaware that Ms Fuckyou Robson was a Hollywood star between swearing her bitchmouth off at unsuspecting autoprompters.

    I think i need drugs.


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