Pussy Galore

That repulsive pornographic brainwashing machine, Big Brother, appears to have caused quite the media controversy!



Its sinister, crotch-obsessed, flesh-fuelled demon heart has rightly earned the wrath of our more morally centred citizens. Hippies everywhere are incensed; babies are said to be up in arms; schizophrenics are beside themselves. All in objection to the satanic, lecherous, unquenchable lust of the BB camera.

Ah, Kris Noble, BB producer. Brainwashing indeed.

Congratulations for successfully deflecting interest from the (lack of) ethnic and cultural diversity of this year's contestants to the (considerable) diversity of their cock sizes. (Not the females'.)

Number of housemates this year, including evictees: 20
Proportion of those housemates who are Caucasian: 100%

Congratulations for the other night unimaginatively introducing into the mix, when you surely had scores of other options, THREE MORE BLOND, BLUE-EYED, BOGAN DICKHEADS into the mix.



Where are the gays? Where are the Asians? Where are the dwarves, the amputees?

So far this year the cultural standouts have been a girl called Geneva, Hotdogs' alien torso and Michelle's curiously flourishing Andie MacDowell tribute moustache.

Kris Noble: what a media master. And don't he sho' love hisself some o' dat Anglo pussy.