Puh-lease Academy

The Academy Awards are due to start in about 45 minutes by my reckoning.

Like a true tragic Oscar obsessive, I am enforcing a full media embargo today to preserve an element of suspense.

Not that there are too many unexpected twists in store. Many categories are done deals: Dame Helen Mirren, Jennifer Hudson and Martin Scorcese are prohibitive favourites who, barring a cataclysmic tear in the space-time continuum, will be taking some gold home for their mantle for the first time.

It's perhaps this desperate wish for surprise that has led me to controversially tip an upset win for Peter O'Toole in Best Actor. Catch my reasoning here in my pre-ceremony prediction article for the BBC.

In any event, the boring, pre-ordained victories will thankfully be balanced out from an entertainment perspective by two important factors:

1. Best Picture, the last award of the night usually bestowed after a 15-hour telecast, is this year a genuine race. And unlike last year, I think almost any of the films would be deserving, though I'm picking a showdown between Babel and The Departed.

2. ELLEN DE GENERES.

This comic genius, hosting for the first time, is the best thing to happen to this event in many, many years. I hope she does an introductory segment using interpretive dance, which she incorporated brilliantly into one of her recent stand-up tours. Bring it on.